For the most part I am generally happy with my life. I love my boyfriend and even though my job is extremely challenging, for the most part I like it and if I stick with it I may be working a public school someday and get summers off. That would be totally cool. I earn paid holidays and vacations and am getting health benefits even though I don't know how to use them yet. I have a nice truck and have wonderful parents who are helping me pay back my student loans.
Every once in a while I get really frustrated. I mean, some of my friends who have been single longer than me are now engaged. I am in this committed relationship where we talk about the future, a house and a kid or two... but no ring yet. I just wonder how long I'm going to be single but yet not. I know a ring just doesn't appear out of nowhere; it costs money and after that it's more money for a wedding and honeymoon. There's just a part of being single that I've given up that I didn't really think I would have to.
I have been trying to get back to Florida for a visit since I came in May of 2006. Haven't made it there yet. Now my boyfriend is planning this trip for us to visit his family in Iowa next year which is totally fine but I was trying to get to Florida next year. I don't really see getting to do both with asking for time off. That would be a week for each trip so two weeks out of the year. So basically I would be giving up my visit to Florida.
I really miss working in the environment I was in at Disney World. It really was a dream of mine to work at a Disney park. I love the friends I made there and worked with every day. The pay sucked and there were times when we were really overworked and the guests were terrible but I still had a blast. On my days off I could wander around any park I wanted for free; catch a parade or just go on a couple rides. Every day I could watch little kids' dreams come true. If I was single I would probably be moving to Florida. Of course I also have this grown up job now where I can't just ask for a few days off and expect to get them approved. I really don't know right now if I asked for a vacation if I would get it approved at this job.
I guess I'm just complaining but it's hard! If I was single or at a different job I wouldn't have to worry about getting permission to go the UK with Becky like we wanted to or go back to visit Orlando with Becky and Rachael. Of course if I was single I would be complaining about how lonely I am or whatever so I guess no matter what there is something to complain about. I just hope we get to a point in this relationship where we can live out some of our personal dreams while still being together. Really I would be happy in a permanent place that really is quite nice as long as I could save up enough money to travel and see my buddies and parents on occasion. It will be even harder when we have a kid so I don't know how that will work in. I guess it will just happen as it happens and we learn to be happy with what we have. I can't help feeling I'm giving up on a lot of dreams or missing out on something in order to be lucky enough to have the life I have right now. So I guess I'll light one up and watch Old School and try not to think too much about it!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Drama, drama, drama...
Today was a good day! I finally made it to an eye doctor and got my eyes checked. They are starting to slow down and not change as much. A little bit but not so much. I wanted to get contacts but decided not to because I've had trouble with them irritating my eyes so having contacts and no glasses isn't really a good idea. This girl helped me find glasses that looked good on me and she was a funky chiclet so I trust her judgment. I can't see myself without MY glasses so trying on a pair without a prescription in them is worthless without a second opinion. I got one pair that I can wear everyday and another pair that's a little funky for those days I feel all cutesy and shit. haha
Work has been difficult. My trainer was fired so there is nobody training me anymore. Dee and I have been doing the dinner by ourselves so we are one person short. We still get out around 20 after we're supposed to so it's not like we're doing real bad but since I'm new and still clueless and Dee never had to do the food prep stuff we are both struggling and b.s-ing a lot of it but we're holding our own. I'm learning to stand my ground with the clients but sometimes they still get to me. I just found out this one girl that works in the cafeteria has a crush on me!! So not really sure what to do about that but watch my boundaries so she's not touching me and stop her if she ever brings up anything inappropriate. Which we're supposed to do anyway.
I think I'm pissing off some of my other coworkers but I really wish they'd just confront me on a problem and we could work it out instead of picking up on negative emotions or catching one bitching about me to another coworker. Especially when it's my boss doing the bitching which is very unprofessional in my opinion. I think they don't realize how much I still don't know and nobody wants to take the time out to teach me so it's frustrating. How am I supposed to learn unless someone teaches me?? hmmmm But I think I'm also pissing people off when I ask questions so it's just a losing battle for me. What to do; what to do?!?
On the other hand, I'm watching Scrubs right now which I really love and it's very funny.
And Buck bought me the Sims2 for the computer for my birthday and I made him and me and we just had a baby who is a good baby and not too needy but our people are still struggling. I forget to check the baby's needs so I forget to feed him and bathe him. Aww he was crawling around with green stink floating off his body. Poor baby!
At least my job keeps me on my toes. At least I have my boyfriend who is unceasingly amazing. At least I have parents who buy me glasses for my birthday and Christmas!
Work has been difficult. My trainer was fired so there is nobody training me anymore. Dee and I have been doing the dinner by ourselves so we are one person short. We still get out around 20 after we're supposed to so it's not like we're doing real bad but since I'm new and still clueless and Dee never had to do the food prep stuff we are both struggling and b.s-ing a lot of it but we're holding our own. I'm learning to stand my ground with the clients but sometimes they still get to me. I just found out this one girl that works in the cafeteria has a crush on me!! So not really sure what to do about that but watch my boundaries so she's not touching me and stop her if she ever brings up anything inappropriate. Which we're supposed to do anyway.
I think I'm pissing off some of my other coworkers but I really wish they'd just confront me on a problem and we could work it out instead of picking up on negative emotions or catching one bitching about me to another coworker. Especially when it's my boss doing the bitching which is very unprofessional in my opinion. I think they don't realize how much I still don't know and nobody wants to take the time out to teach me so it's frustrating. How am I supposed to learn unless someone teaches me?? hmmmm But I think I'm also pissing people off when I ask questions so it's just a losing battle for me. What to do; what to do?!?
On the other hand, I'm watching Scrubs right now which I really love and it's very funny.
And Buck bought me the Sims2 for the computer for my birthday and I made him and me and we just had a baby who is a good baby and not too needy but our people are still struggling. I forget to check the baby's needs so I forget to feed him and bathe him. Aww he was crawling around with green stink floating off his body. Poor baby!
At least my job keeps me on my toes. At least I have my boyfriend who is unceasingly amazing. At least I have parents who buy me glasses for my birthday and Christmas!
Friday, August 10, 2007
number one post
I created this blogger spot so I wouldn't always have to post on Myspace. This is a little more private I guess so I can write more openly. Becky can read this and that's fabulous! So yeah....
I have worked about six days at my new job. That's in two weeks; I said I needed to give my two weeks notice at the Disney Store so my new job gave me two extra days off because they thought I'd still be working at the Disney Store for the last two weeks but really I quit on the spot. That means I can't be rehired but oh well I guess. That job was boring as hell plus they didn't even fucking train me!! So I don't really feel badly about not being able to work there anymore.
My new job is awesome so far. I am really hoping this is a job I will like for a long time because the benefits are so good. I would like to stay here and enjoy being able to see a doctor when I think something's wrong with me, see a dentist regularly and get my eyes checked. I will love the paid vacations too! I don't really know how they work; like can I request time off without pay? I still wanted to go to Florida. Not sure if it's going to happen but I'm really hoping for it. The friends I have there I do not want to lost touch with because they've become like family to me.
The craziest thing that has happened at work so far was a group of girls were in the auditorium and somehow a girl got a hold of a razor blade and slit her wrists BIG TIME. I guess it was really bloody in there but thankfully I wasn't there to see it! After they took the girl to the hospital they found out she had broken up the blades and swallowed them, but they were going to let her just poop them out. Her counselor was talking to us and said she was literally going to be shitting razor blades. That sounds mean to make fun of a sick child but it helps lighten the sadness of the situation.
So around the cottages now girls are getting a hold of sharp objects and cutting themselves. One girl got eleven stitches but when she was back in her room she just pulled the stitches out. So they are trying to get a cast on her arm so she can't pull them out. That'd be a beastly scar!
There are about four or five girls that have higher privileges and can have a job in the cafeteria. Mostly they do the dishes for us and set up the salad bar for dinner. One girl in there just rubs me the wrong way. I think she just encourages the others (through her own actions) to be loud and obnoxious and when she works is the only time another girl gets in trouble for bad-mouthing girls who bring their trays over to be washed. I don't want to be a babysitter but we do have to keep an eye on them.
I broke out in hives on my arms during work one day and I don't know why. I thought maybe I'm allergic to something but my dear mutha thinks maybe it is a result of the stress of having a new job. She could be right because when I moved to Florida this last time I got hives on my arms there too and that was a new job, new apartment, new state, etc. Who knows? I just hope they go away!
So I guess that's all for now. I was being really noisy this morning but it was unintentional. I felt bad because I was hoping to let Buck have some good sleep since he woke up so early yesterday. I want to go to the eye doctor to price glasses but I might just do it tomorrow so I don't have to use my blow-dryer and wake up Buck.
Until next time...
I have worked about six days at my new job. That's in two weeks; I said I needed to give my two weeks notice at the Disney Store so my new job gave me two extra days off because they thought I'd still be working at the Disney Store for the last two weeks but really I quit on the spot. That means I can't be rehired but oh well I guess. That job was boring as hell plus they didn't even fucking train me!! So I don't really feel badly about not being able to work there anymore.
My new job is awesome so far. I am really hoping this is a job I will like for a long time because the benefits are so good. I would like to stay here and enjoy being able to see a doctor when I think something's wrong with me, see a dentist regularly and get my eyes checked. I will love the paid vacations too! I don't really know how they work; like can I request time off without pay? I still wanted to go to Florida. Not sure if it's going to happen but I'm really hoping for it. The friends I have there I do not want to lost touch with because they've become like family to me.
The craziest thing that has happened at work so far was a group of girls were in the auditorium and somehow a girl got a hold of a razor blade and slit her wrists BIG TIME. I guess it was really bloody in there but thankfully I wasn't there to see it! After they took the girl to the hospital they found out she had broken up the blades and swallowed them, but they were going to let her just poop them out. Her counselor was talking to us and said she was literally going to be shitting razor blades. That sounds mean to make fun of a sick child but it helps lighten the sadness of the situation.
So around the cottages now girls are getting a hold of sharp objects and cutting themselves. One girl got eleven stitches but when she was back in her room she just pulled the stitches out. So they are trying to get a cast on her arm so she can't pull them out. That'd be a beastly scar!
There are about four or five girls that have higher privileges and can have a job in the cafeteria. Mostly they do the dishes for us and set up the salad bar for dinner. One girl in there just rubs me the wrong way. I think she just encourages the others (through her own actions) to be loud and obnoxious and when she works is the only time another girl gets in trouble for bad-mouthing girls who bring their trays over to be washed. I don't want to be a babysitter but we do have to keep an eye on them.
I broke out in hives on my arms during work one day and I don't know why. I thought maybe I'm allergic to something but my dear mutha thinks maybe it is a result of the stress of having a new job. She could be right because when I moved to Florida this last time I got hives on my arms there too and that was a new job, new apartment, new state, etc. Who knows? I just hope they go away!
So I guess that's all for now. I was being really noisy this morning but it was unintentional. I felt bad because I was hoping to let Buck have some good sleep since he woke up so early yesterday. I want to go to the eye doctor to price glasses but I might just do it tomorrow so I don't have to use my blow-dryer and wake up Buck.
Until next time...
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