my little pony

When I was a child and had nightmares, my momma would tell me to sing a song to try to get back to sleep. I was very much into "My Little Pony" as a kid, so she suggested I sing the theme song from that show. For some reason, this idea has always stuck with me, and even now when I am scared at night or have nightmares, I will sing "My Little Pony" to keep the scary images out of my head.

Now, this idea has taken on a new image to smudge: my momma's death. Many times, when trying to fall to sleep, I have the image of my momma's last moments stuck in my head: her illness, pain and suffering, her being alone and in pain when she realized how ill she actually was, and finally, watching her die and having to be strong and tell her it was okay: that she could go and we would all be all right without her... Watching the color of her skin change, and how frighteningly quick she grew cold to the touch after she passed. When I close my eyes at night, these are the images stuck inside my head. So I sing "My Little Pony" to try and make the nightmare leave my brain so I can sleep. My sister and I added to this, and along with singing the theme song, we try to name all the ponies we can remember. It is a good brain distraction, and I hope it helps her like it helps me. So far we have:

Sundance (and Megan)
Tiddlywinks
Cotton Candy
Whizzer
Applejack
Buttons
Twilight
Lickety-Split
Firefly

If you ever hear me start singing "My Little Pony," please don't laugh, just let me be.