Hello, welcome to the
Psychiatric Hotline:
Psychiatric Hotline:
*If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly
*If you are co-dependent, please ask someone else to press 2.
*If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
*If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line and we will trace your call.
*If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
*If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
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